School Days

I miss school...not that I was the most popular girl around, nor did I excel in studies or sports. Infact what best describes me during my school days is 'average'...I was average looking, average in academics (and to be honest, way way below average in math and geography, something which even today I deplore of), had an average amount of popularity amongst my peers (I used to get the most amazing goodies for lunch after all!!!) but I had more than average share of fun that's for sure!!!

Sneaking out with friends to the terrace where 5 or 6 of us would jostle over one forbidden can of beer (mom, if you are reading this please don't get mad!!!), eating spicy 'phhuchkas' till our eyes watered and our tongues went numb, bunking classes and going into the garden where we had our own 'private' spot- a small alcove behind the school gymnasium, those long long walks leading to nowhere; talking about things that seemed 'oh so important' to us: exams, boys, clothes, movies, boys, the latest food joint and you guessed it boys again!!! (hey! we did study in an all girls school so they were quite the unexplored territory so to speak!). School days were a fun-filled melange of living in the moment and having very distant dreams about what the future held for us.

I had no obligations, no need to worry my head over who would pay the bills, didnt have to wrack my head over what to cook for dinner, most of all didnt have the hugely frightening responsibility of taking care of a whole living breathing human being- my baby. But then when I look at her sleeping peacefully in my DH's arms, her head on his chest and his chin resting on her head...I know that this is my world now and I couldnt be happier. School days were fun no doubt but it's best left in the past...this is my now and my future and it's everything I could have hoped for.

As they say "The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift that's why they call it the present"...

A perfect summer day

Yesterday was one of those near-perfect days with lazy white clouds floating in a cerulean blue sky, the sun mischeivously playing hide and seek during the earlier part of the morning and coming out in full force by late morning. Yesterday was the perfect time for friends, fun and frolic and all three we combined by going to Tokyo Summerland (Tokyo's biggest aqua theme park). The merry lot comprised of old friends (R,P and their yummilicious baby girl M) and new (S&A) and ofcourse me, DH and my bro-in-law. As usual going by our code of IST (Indian Stretchable Time ie.) we left half an hour after the time when we were to have reached (if it sounds confusing to you, imagine how much confusion the situation created for us!!!).

The train journey (in Japan this particular mode of transport is the most reliable, except for when certain suicidal idiots jam up the train lines on busy monday mornings, but then that's another story) took the better part of 2 hours which we fully utilized by playing dumb charades and generally ogling a girl with 'Hello Kitty' nail art and knee length cowboy suede boots (in peak summer mind you). After reaching Akigawa station (atleast I think that was the name) and feeling as hungry as bears after their long winter hibernation, we quickly stopped at a 'conbini' (convenience store for the uninitiated) and stuffed our guts with an assortment of fried chicken, chips, pudding and icecream (feeling hungry just thinking about it!!!). We then boarded the bus for Summerland where we proceeded to spend the rest of the day in and out of various pools and onsens (hot springs Japan is famous for), enjoying various rides and ofcourse eating more fried chicken!!!

Tired but extremely happy, the train journey back home was spent mainly dozing and trying to calm down a hungry baby M...my own kiddo was home with her grandparents to whom DH and I are extremely grateful, since it is because of their reassuring presence that we are still able to maintain a semblance of a social life, which with a squalling newborn would have been difficult to say the least (not that newbie parents without parental support dont do it all the time).

Thanks R for goading us into going.....it really was the perfect way to spend the perfect day!!!! :)

The object of my husband's affection

There's another woman in my DH's life and I couldn't be happier about it! Dont take me otherwise, I am not the sort of a woman who would take lightly her husband's roving eye, but in this case I seem to have mellowed down! She's not quite his usual type...he likes them curvy, she's as slim as they come; he raves about long hair but she sports a much shorter style; he loves gabbing and prefers people who can reciprocate in wit, she can barely talk and what comes out is unintelligible to most ears except a discerning few...yet when he's with her (and they are shameless enough to flaunt the relationship before my eyes) the bond between them is unmistakeable...her eyes light up when she sees him and her face breaks out into a gummy smile (to add insult to injury, she has no teeth either!) and on his part, he bends down to her every whim and command (a feat which I'm yet to achieve even after almost 3 years of marriage!!!). And as I am penning down my thoughts this very moment he is bending over her to kiss her and wish OUR BABY GIRL "Goodnight"!!! :)

Auyona

After 9 months of endless waiting and dreaming, she's finally here...umm...well she arrived 3 months earlier to be precise, on 30th May, and our lives have not been the same since. Auyona true to her name is a bundle of sunshine and her smile can brighten up even the gloomiest of days...with her around it is difficult for anyone to remain uninvolved for too long...I have seen her normally taciturn grandfather cooing over her crib, her 'lost in his own world' uncle rushing to pick her up when she cried for a minute too long, but the biggest change so far has taken place in my DH...all of a sudden he has transformed from the overly relaxed guy who would think nothing of sleeping in till 1 pm on holidays and would try and stay in bed till the last possible microsecond on work days, to the man who gets up almost half an hour earlier on weekdays just so that he can spend those few extra moments with her. It's touching to say the least, though sometimes I feel like poking him and saying "hello, remember me?????" and I do too, but like I said earlier seeing them together is a sight I wouldnt give up for all the wonders of the world.

I had a very very special relationship with my dad.He was my hero, the man who could do everything and more and seeing my daughter (OMG! I still have difficulty in believing that I'm a mom) and HER father together brings back those wonderful memories that I have of my dad. Like they say "child is the father of man", I realised the true emotion behind this statement when I saw myself 25 years back...through Kuhu's (that's what we call her at home) eyes. I found the lyrics to a song that expresses just what I feel:

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
It puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

my baby

Epitaphs

An actual list of really humorous epitaphs from long ago.....i nearly died laughing (pun very much intended) ;)

For my unborn baby

It's a strange feeling knowing that there's a life growing inside you...strange, exciting and yes...very very scary!!! It's the first time I am totally responsible for another human being and a defenseless one at that...and that honestly scares the shit out of me! I was so scared at the beginning that i would almost look in the mirror and try and convince myself that I was just putting on yet some more weight...a trick that just doesnt work anymore, now that my stomach is assaulted at all times of the day and night with my baby's movements...flutters at first and slowly graduating to full fledged kicks! But I love feeling the lil one move...it's reassuring to say the least...

Baby understands my emotions...she (I am using 'she' just as a way to avoid writing "he/she" or some other equally silly thing!!!) really does...music soothes her, she gets all excited when my DH strums to her on his guitar...she even headbangs to 'Rammstein' and I know where she gets THAT from!!!!! :) She seems to understand when we talk about her or to her and responds with a couple of well placed kicks (like she's doing as I am writing!!!). It's a lengthy 3 month wait before I can hold her in my arms and time has never passed more slowly!!! I read this poem somewhere and really liked it...it's what I feel for my baby and then some....

I Loved You From The Start

I loved you from the very start.
You stole my breath, embraced my heart.

Our life together has just begun,
You’re part of me, my little one.

As mother with child, each day I knew
My mind would be filled with thoughts of you.
I’m daydreaming of the things we’ll share,
Like late-night bottles and teddy bears.
Like first steps and skinned knees,
Like bedtime stories and ABC’s.

I’m thinking of things you’ll want to know
Like how birds fly and flowers grow.
I’ve thought of lessons I’ll need to share,
Like standing tall and playing fair.

When I first see your precious face,
I’ll pray your life be touched with grace.
I’ll thank the angels from above,
And promise you unending love.

Each night I’ll lay you down to sleep,
I’ll gently kiss your head and cheek.
I’ll count your little fingers and toes,
I’ll memorize your eyes and nose.

I will linger at your nursery door,
Awed each day that I love you more.
Through misty eyes, I’ll dim the light,
And whisper, “I love you” every night.

As mother with child our journey’s begun,
My heart’s yours forever, little one.

I loved you from the very start.
You stole my breath, embraced my heart

Author: unknown

Let it snow...let it snow....

I have always craved for a white winter....my DH who's lived amidst 3ms of snow during his MBA years naturally doesnt pay much attention my longing...and unfortunately neither does Tokyo! Ofcourse snow piles up in Northern and Western Japan, but we Tokyoites have to be content with a few flakes here and there during the season....but not this time around! Last to last sunday, sleepy eyes opened to a dazzling white Tokyo!!! It had snowed during the night and by snow I mean the yummy kind that reminds you of vanilla icecream and makes you want to dip your hands in it and lick it off! Tokyo hadnt seen this much snow in 7 years!!! Our patio was covered with a thick layer of the stuff as was everything else around as far as the eye could see!!!










It was our own private winter wonderland and we (me, my DH and my brother-in-law) made the most of it...snowball fights, snow thingys, the works...I hadnt had this much fun in quite a while...



Cheers to a white winter....FINALLY!!!!!

Phenomenal Woman

One of my favorite pieces of poetry by an amazing African-American poetess..Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

A walk down memory lane...

Tokyo is cold during winter....and by cold I mean FREEZING!!!! Most of our winter evenings and weekends are spent huddled under the blanket with both the room and floor heaters on...sipping hot coffee and generally cursing the howling wind outside and its resultant sub-zero temperature. Coming from the sunny climes of Kolkata, where winter is a long awaited and cherished season... a season of light woollens and even lighter moods; the dark and gloomy winter of Japan is definitely not something I look forward to.



Occasionally on such cold wintry evenings I find myself turning back the pages of time and revisiting my childhood. As it is with most schools in Kolkata (specially the non-Christian ones like mine), winter holidays were almost an after-thought. While the summer and the Puja holidays stretched over a month and a half...the winter holidays were a measly 2 weeks, and it was within those 2 weeks that we managed to cram in all possible fun activities. We would usually go on our annual family trips during the longer holidays while the Christmas vacation due to the shortage of time, was mostly limited to local attractions.



Some of those attractions which remain vivid in my mind (and I am sure in the minds of every true-blue Kolkatan) include visits to the Alipore Zoo complete with badminton racquets, Frisbees and of course a picnic hamper; at least one visit to whichever circus was in town (Nataraj Circus was my particular favourite, although in my late pre-teens, I started appreciating the Russian circus more) and of course the event I personally looked forward to the most, the "Boi Mela" or the Book Fair held every year at the Maidan. Earlier, I used to go with my parents and a brood of cousins and later on with my friends...but the magic remained the same irrespective of my companions - the crisp smell of new books mingled with the mouth-watering aroma coming from the 'Ben Fish' stall, the endless queues outside the popular publishing houses and people just sitting on the fair grounds and soaking in the ambience; all went towards creating an unforgettable experience. I have not visited the Book Fair in the last six or seven years, but sadly I hear from the people who still go, that the fair is not what it used to be...its magic has been greatly diminished.



While these are all memories of outdoor events, my favorite memory associated with winter is an indoor one, a memory which I am sure, most Kolkatans will recognize and reminisce about - eating 'komla lebu' (oranges) and reading a book while soaking in the warm afternoon sun! Right from my early childhood, I was an avid reader, everything from books to magazines to 'kagojer thonga' (paper bags made from recycled newspapers) would be gobbled up by my hungry eyes. It was a habit my dad was only too happy to encourage and encourage he did. Our school back then, had its mid week holiday on Thursday unlike many who broke for the whole weekend. Every Saturday, I would come home from school to find my favorite sunny corner of the verandah set up with quilts, pillows and a brand new book inscribed with a funny message from dad. As I crossed over into my teens the authors changed from Enid Blyton to Erich Segal, but, the scenario remained the same. My 'baba' (as I used to call my dad) would then serve me my mid-afternoon snack (usually a variety of sandwiches and of course the ubiquitous orange in all its peeled glory), while I lazily laid back and turned the pages of my new book. Sadly, those times are no more and neither is my baba...but if I close my eyes and try hard enough I can still feel the warm sun on my back, hear the rustling of the crisp pages and smell the oranges.......

A non-valentine 'Valentines Day'

My DH (Dear Husband) hates the thought of 'Valentines Day'...it's not that he's unromantic, quite the contrary...what he hates is the commercialization of love! According to him, love is something to share, to give, to express every single day...so why should there be a day specifically set apart for it? Other than the historical importance of the day (St. Valentine et al), which anyways very few people know about...what differentiates 14th Feb from the rest 364 days (365 days this leap year)?

Today is Valentines Day and it's just like any other day in our house...infact my DH wont even be home till quite late at night...he is going to a 'Police' concert, something he had been wanting to go to since a long time and something I know he would have willingly given up had I told him to....that is love. I let him go...that is love too. Well...didn't let him go that easily either...I made him promise to pick up Chinese from my favorite chinese joint on his way back home!!! Bee Hoon (thin rice noodles), Cashew Chicken, Mabo Dofu (Tofu in a spicy minced meat sauce) and Gyoza (the japanese equivalent of dumplings)...in one word...YUMMILICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Right now, I am going through my chinese phase, earlier it was thai and even before that I would only want to eat 'Bento' that's Japanese style set meals...pregnancy has some weird effects on taste for sure!!! They say that cravings are your body's way of telling you what you are missing out on...i wonder what form of nutrient does oily and spicy food provide my body with???? Anyways I had made up my mind long ago not to worry about looking like a beached whale and enjoy my pregnancy the best I can..but it's easier said than done...at least some times....the rest...i just dont look in the mirror!!!! 'Ignorance is bliss' and all that jazz!!!!

Baby's kicking...time for lunch i guess!!!! :)